The Unvarnished Me

I've had a lot of anxiety lately, ya know?

About you.

I've changed the way that I write and speak. I may have scared you off.

If you don't know (of course you don't, I haven't told you!) I have gone through a bit of writer's discovery.

It started when I realized that blogging was getting hard for me -- very stressful. I wasn't enjoying the whole process because a lot of it was forced, and my voice was only an echo of other voices.

I read a few posts by pro bloggers who had good writing advice. Mostly, they said you should do it only if you love it. I wasn't loving it.

You see, I was trying to sit down at my computer every day and come up with something cute and entertaining, or funny.

What I was removing from the equation, an essential piece, was me. Who I really am. My thoughts, and how I really feel.

But this totally random post was the first time I really opened up and shared exactly what was going on inside my head. I panicked. After half of a day, I unpublished it because I felt vulnerable. And it was different than anything I had published before. After some encouragement, I republished it, and it is mentioned on today's Marvelous Monday's post on Janae Wise's blog, Bring Joy.

I can't tell you how difficult it is to start really sharing who I am. Allowing myself to be vulnerable. It has changed my whole perspective on life. And just like I mentioned in this post, I have started to really feel my heart.

Hard at first. Now I love it.

Writing has started to flow like water.

I want to continue posting my absolute favorite recipes.

I love being a plant-based whole foodist, and the best part about it is sharing it with other people. But my voice is going to be a little bit different. I want to share with you exactly what is going on, how I feel, what my family is up to, and the foods we are enjoying. No facades, nothing pretended. You are going to get the unvarnished me.

I am going to put my best foot forward.

To keep it positive.

Keep it pretty.

But also open, and honest. From my heart.

In general, I am a very happy person. Especially when I take the gag out of my mouth and let myself truly speak. I want to share my joy and zest for life, with you.

So I want to thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for sticking it out with me while I am trying to find my voice. You really have no idea how much it means to me to be able to share recipes, our favorites, with you.

As I have mentioned before, it turns my lonely little kitchen into a friendship. And you help me work to create the best recipes by your honest feedback.

That's all I wanted to say for now, because I can hear my children laughing and screaming in delight out on our trampoline. I don't want to miss it.

*Hugs*

Ashlee